I'm just like a cat on a hot tin roof.

These feelings are nothing new. Rarely and unpredictably they flow into my system taking hold of everything I do. They are feelings of complete and total isolation, even surrounded as I always seem to be, with dozens are familiar faces. 

Certainly it's just the time of year, certainly it's nothing more than my body and soul embracing the hint of autumn that has begun to creep its way into my small world. Certainly it's the music, the smells,  and the overbearing longing for adventure that brings me every year to my knees. 

Tears don't help at all, laughter is just as bad, and screaming only proves to make me seem even more mentally ill than I already do. So I retreat into my own mind, and there I spend hours on end there asking questions and caring out long drawn out conversations trying to unravel this mystery. In the end, however, I'm only talking to myself.

What happened to me? I'm normally so sure of things. Yet, his blatant disregard for anything I may need and her obvious lack of devotion, have left me feeling crippled, begging for attention. 

God! Can't I move forward? Must I always fall back into the same traps? 

If I've learned anything over the past three years its this, everything and nothing changes.

L'anniversaire

My dearest Fairy, 

It wasn't until just today that I realized I, your beastly aunt, missed your birthday. I must say I've been anticipating it's arrival for weeks now, but something in the hustle and bustle of my daily life here miles and miles away from you and your brothers made me completely miss the day itself. I hope it was the perfect. I hope there was plenty of sweets and packages wrapped tightly in sparkling ribbons. 

I love you dearest, and think of you                                                                                                           daily.

                                                 

Georgia's just a state of mind

This is a new blog for a new girl.
I no longer have the feeling of a tied down "house wife". Searching to please, fighting for affection from everyone I meet, and always unsure of my next move.
I'm moving moving moving. Growing growing growing.

It's November again, a month of change. This time last year I was stretching my new found wings, entering into a new relationship, starting college, moving out, and experiencing adulthood firsthand. Since then I've learned a lot. I've had to say goodbye to my best and dearest friend. Sitting like a stone in that cold iron chair on our front porch, watching as the cherry red time machine drove away towards Florida, and better things. I have had my first broken heart, a heart I spent years protecting, a heart I have found can only be restored by the healing of Yahweh's touch. I have moved into an old 1940's duplex, complete with hardwood floors, crystal door knobs, and an ideal nook perfect to entertain the idea of a library. I have finally become the ideal student, straight A's and all. And I have been blessed enough to secure a job others would kill for, especially in this time of economical struggle.

Although my life these past six months has been as up and down as Georgia weather itself. Although I've experienced bitter, cold, and reluctant emotions for months at a time. Perfect swirls of autumn leaves and cinnamon sunshine have once again began to appear.
I am content.
I am happy.
I am moving forward.

God bless these, my next few steps.

An unsent letter

Dearest Brother,

Another Friday afternoon and I've only just woken up. I've a Venti pike roast coffee next to my propped up toes on the living room table and Skinny Love plays in rhythm to my tapping fingers on the keys as I write you this letter. The words you sent me this morning brought a whole new orchestra of tears streaming from my eyes, bitter at the thought that you weren't in the next room, and sweet knowing that our bond has yet to begin to fade. I suppose you're right when you said that God put us together, that male and female rarely live in the same atmosphere without a strew of complications, but in our relationship there was only brotherly love and a perfect match of obsessions and desires.
I miss you terribly, so very very terribly, but I know that in following his will for our lives you had to go.
Please think of me often and don't forget all the great adventures we had together, and will someday have a again.

With love,
Your sister.

Take one girl, her beautiful black Volvo 850, throw in a suicidal doe and you have a night of hell on your hands.

Story time. Johnathan and I were on our way home from Broadway, my spirits were high from the first decent night I've had in quite some time. The weather today had been perfect, which was in itself surprising since yesterday rain drops the size of golf balls were pouring from one end of the city to the other. We had spent most of the evening with good people, drinking good coffee, and talking about good books and good times. I should have known that that was far too much "good" for one night, especially with the way things have been lately. When it happened so unexpectedly, we were east bound driving maybe 65 (the legal speed limit) down JR Allen and out of absolutely nowhere (or from the cluster of native perennial grasses that stretch across the median) darted the largest female deer I've ever seen. In any other car we could have quite possibly been very badly injured or the car would have been totaled but in the Volvo she hit with nothing more than a loud thud that left me far more shaken then my car itself which didn't even budge an inch upon impact.
I couldn't breathe when I got out to survey the damage, and had to literally sit down after seeing the disaster that is my drivers side. But I knew there was no use in crying just yet, the police had to be called, as well as my parents and a tow truck and by the end of it all my head was swimming, my tears came in waves, and worry of getting it paid for since insurance wont pay for a thing stuck to my chest.

Apart for taking my keys to the body shop tomorrow I don't know what my next move is.
I can't afford a new car, my treasure looks like its been part a dirty battle (complete with blood stains), and I have no transportation for the next unknown span of time.

I need a vacation.

Big B-day Giveaway!

This is the last day to enter this fabulous giveaway! Fourteen etsy shops got involved to bring you this amazing package full of goodies. Be sure to visit all the stores involved they all have items which are sure to make you dizzy with joy. To enter please visit Audrey's Giveaway Blog.

I'll admit it, I'm completely obsessed with giveaways.

These prints are utterly adorable. Perch and N. Eve.